Life in retrospect: Fate? Or just dang good luck?

Looking back in life, you can always see how things came together to where you are now, good or bad. But do you Usually attribute it to luck or fate?

Me, personally, I like to think quasi-fate - that my readiness for certain things and actions, brought me to where I am. Definitely, the more you know what you want, the more likely you'll get it if you keep trying and IF it is truly a good fit or perhaps an experience meant to bring you to your better fit later on.

Obviously it's so easy to look back in life and think of how perhaps a handful of sh*tty experiences made way for better or made you stronger to find better. It's funny how life works out.

What gets me thinking this way at the moment is my current happiness in my new job. I sometimes momentarily feel guilty for how awesome my job is and what a perfect fit, but those thoughts are fleeting because I earned this! My job isn't necessarily one that absolutely anyone would feel fulfilled in, but for me, I'm exactly where I want to be and am ecstatic that I work in an organization with an amazing culture, pay that I'm satisfied with, and a position/work that has room to grow! Oh and my commute is 15 minutes tops on surface streets. ;) bet commute I've EVER had (I've never had a commute under 30 minutes via freeway).

Anyways, this job satisfaction makes me SO thankful that other opportunities fell through. Even though I would have taken those opportunities, they wouldn't have been as amazing or perfect for me. So even though I was devastated or disappointed at the time, those flops made way for my perfect job. In this sense I like to think of the events that flowed as fate-like because I certainly would have settled for other jobs if given the opportunity. But as life would have it, I didn't, even though I was in final interview rounds and got quasi-close. Thank you life for shoveling me towards what is perfect for me right now. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Next time something flops or gets you down, just feel comforted that as long as you keep trying, and stay true to your glues, you'll get what is meant or you.

Look on the bright side! There's always a silver lining... At the very least, things could always be worse!

Super duper uber busy

Like the title says, I've been super busy. I've been working on building a site for a family member of the BF, and it looks like it'll build up to get a few more gigs from other people that they know. So I am working on this first one, and also going through pre-employment hoops (mostly a very very incompetent US HealthWorks place... *sigh* hoping tomorrow goes fine, but man, not looking forward to going back to getting my tb test read, imaging all the many ways I'm sure they can manager to F things up a bit more and get me frustrated.... sigh!).

On the bright side, it's really nice having some side gigs on the side to make some extra money. Though still haven't completely settled on how much we want to charge (Bf is handling the SEO and some other technical mumbo jumbo, and I'm doing the poking around with design).

Anyways... gahhhh, ya, it's been a while since I've posted. Definitely going to catch up and throw something up soon!

Short attention span: shiny objects, ooooh, SQUIRREL!

Working on a new project concept which has to do with me trying to break out of my shell, challenge myself, and live life more fully. I suppose it's weird that I don't just put it on here, but I'd rather not clutter this blog up with what I want to do there. So yeah, that's kinda it for now.

Will update this particular post with more info soon. Maybe. I don't know. I've been extremely fuzzy headed lately and I can't think in an organized manner. Mostly has to do with just bad habits as well as being super duper anxious about hearing from this one particular job that I'm really interested in, but I don't want to get my hopes up. Though they are calling my references right now... but I never count my chickens before the eggs actually hatch or however that thing goes. Eesh.

True love means farts: My Love Story. Also, "agreement farts" the newway to "win" in relationships

Warning:
Love found online might result in finding quirky characters like the ones pictured above,
proceed with caution and only if you're into that kinda thing. ;)

I've been contemplating doing recap posts of my dating history and how I got to the BF, sorta How I Met Your Mother style, or something. It would be really interesting for me to review my history, as I do have old journal entries on xanga dating back to my high school/early college relationship. The writing had all the melodrama of young "love" and early teenage/20s finding yourself type the stuff.

The basic back story leading to my current love-of-my-life situation is that I moved from Northern California to Southern California around 3 years ago to pursue my Master's, to be the Wifey's roomy, and to get a change of scenery. Originally part of the moving rationale was so I could slowly break things off with an ex-boyfriend because I could never quite go completely through with things, so after fighting and hinting at breakups multiple times, if he asked me straight up I'd stutter and say ... *sigh* no. So I figured moving would be the easiest way to breakup with him slowly if I couldn't do it upfront before then. Luckily, I DID have the balls to breakup with him face to face after one particularly ridiculous fight.

So naturally, after moving to an area where I didn't really know anyone, I decided "why the hell not" in terms of trying my hand at online dating and signing up for OkCupid. From there I learned the basic ins and outs of online dating. Okay... well I only did it for like 2 months, and the BF was the 3rd guy I met up with, and was immediately targeted as "the one". It was really a random chance kinda thing as I was actively fishing online and dropping many "hellos" to guys I thought seemed genuine and cute online. I would basically browse the site the same way many would browse amazon.com, and was getting a lot of shits and giggles out of it. 

There's a ton more to that, but in terms of not being able to adequately type fast enough on my iPad and maybe doing a long dating history recap, I am going to leave more detail until later.

The short of it all is that finding the love of your life is a feeling of complete certainty and naturalness. By the time I found my love, I already knew the type of relationship and guy that would fulfill all of my needs/desires. In short, I wanted "my" Marshall from How I Met Your Mother. Basically - a best friend and someone I can be my complete self with. I found him. It took years of ups and downs and learning about myself and my preferences to arrive at where I am now. It sounds cliche, but upon finding your beloved, when you know, you just know...

Also, everyone has their own particular criteria for what they want in a partner and relationship, but my personal ideal was that I wanted to be around someone I could completely be myself around - farts and all. I mean, this is particular to me as everyone had their own comfort levels and preferences. But what I found was most telling about being in the real deal love, was being able to fart in front of that person.

Yes, people have different comfort levels with farts, so this just might be my personal indicator for comfort and trust. But to me - farts mean love, or at least my personal symbolism for trust/love in relationships. This concept contrasts one of my early relationships where the first time my ex farted in front of me was by accident and after we broke up and were hanging out (suffice to say, we had trust issues).

So yeah...short if it all - I found the love of my life through online dating and it's the most comfortable thing in the world. Sorta like the feeling you get with your closest family and friends - unconditional love and the feeling that, come what may, you will be there for each other through thick and thin. And you want to blank their brains out. Win, win combo.

Okay and on to my next closely related topic...

Awesome idea, patent pending.. AGREEMENT FARTS!

So... role reversal and negative reinforcement - the new way to get your partner to never want you to say "yes" again. It's a completely silly concept, but I am tickled by it.

The story goes like... I was talking to the Bf and randomly agreeing to something. I said "yes" and simultaneously tooted. Because I could mainly hear only my spoken word, I wasn't sure if he heard it. He did, he laughed, and he came up with the idea that people in relationships could build up a subtle association of farts with agreements, and then no one would ever ask you to say "yes" to something ever again! Muahahaha!

The basic concept of this can be related to the tactic some people take to get out of chores or responsibilities - the whole, do it wrong method and never get asked again. For example... If you are asked to do the dishes, but then do a poor job at them, most likely you will not be asked again (especially if it becomes a pattern), and the other person involved will learn not to let you do that particular task.

So on a similar line of reasoning, one could potentially time any sort of agreement with a fart. Thereby training the other person to NEVER want you to agree with anything ever again, or else potentially suffer the consequences! Ha! Though I suppose this hinges on your ability to produce gas... I ran out after a second try. Potentially this could be more powerful for men as many seem to be well equipped with one ready and on board, and/or are just generally ore flatulent than women(?).

Also, something to keep in mind might be that the Bf and I have a "youthful" relationship in a lot of ways... So things like loud farts make us giggle nonstop. :-P